Eternal Flame
by greasegurl
Summary: Bella and Edward cant stand each other, but the reason is secretly ripping them apart inside. Not to mention Alices nagging is getting on their nerves. Will they grow up, and sort out their problems before they're unfixable? 1st Twilight FF be nice please
1. Chapter 1

**Ok, so hey guys!! (If anyone reads this…) this is my first Twilight fan fiction… I've moved from the Disney side of life to the slightly darker Twilight side of life… I have to say, the Twilight fanfics are rather addictive… mind you, so are the (cough) High School Musical (cough) ones…**

**Go easy on me please, I've only read the books once, so I don't remember every single detail of them but I will try to be as accurate as possible…**

**So pretty much, this story is a non-vampire-ific story and it's pretty much the 'gang' at school. Yup. Sept that Bella and Edward hate each other. I know. It's horrible. But there's a reason. Which you'll find out within the next two chapters…**

**Read, review, tell me what you think etc etc**

**And I don't own anything to do with Twilight except my dreams…**

"First day of school and I've _already_ got homework. How's your day going?"

I looked up to see one of my best friends walking beside me. I looked over her short spiky bob, trendy clothes and her sparkling green eyes. It didn't look like she was pissed. In fact, she looked more _excited_ to be at school than anything.

"Well Alice, first period, I got the only teacher in the school that spits _and_ as an added bonus; I got the front row seat!" I said with fake enthusiasm as we walked to lunch, "and then, I got put beside Emmet in English, so it looks like I won't be getting much work done this year"

"Did I hear my name?" a tall muscled boy asked as he fell into step beside us

"Bella was just telling me how she has to sit beside _you_ for a year"

"Cant be as bad as sitting beside you" Emmet laughed, his green eyes dancing as he nudged Alice with his shoulder

"So who'd you get last period?"

"Matheson. He's all good. We all have separate seats so it's no big deal who I've got sitting beside me"

"It's the first day and I can't wait for the year to be over!" Emmet said as he dropped his books on the table with a bang, "now what's for lunch?"

"God, you and your stomach" I laughed, rolling my eyes

"Well you just don't eat enough. Hey babe" he said when Rosalie sat down beside him

Rosalie was the kind of girl that walked into a room, and everyone's eyes fell on her. She had long blonde hair that cascaded down her back beautifully, even when she was having a 'bad hair day'. She had perfect 'plump' lips and gorgeous blue eyes. She had a figure any girl would kill for. In general, she was just perfect. _And_ she was an amazing person to boot.

"Hey. How's your guys' day been?" she said with a smile as Emmet wrapped his arm over her shoulders

"Bella's sucks" Emmet laughed, "and what about yours little sister?"

"I have a class with Jasper" she said with an elated sigh, "speaking of which, where is he?"

"Talking to coach about something"

"Ew. That's why you stink" I laughed, "You just had gym"

"You know you love the smell Bella" he laughed as he lifted his arm in the air and moved his arm pit in my direction

"Ew you are so gross Em" Rosalie laughed as she forced his arm down

"Hey guys" a blonde guy that looked like a male version of Rosalie said as he sat down and pressed a kiss to Alice's forehead. His blue eyes danced when he saw her smile, "sorry I'm late. Got held up"

"Speaking of being held up, where's Edward?"

"Who cares?" I mumbled so quietly that no one heard me

Edward was Alice and Emmet's brother. Alice's twin to be exact. But aside from the fact they both had green eyes and they were absolutely beautiful, they didn't really look alike. Alice and Emmet looked more like twins than Alice and Edward.

As much as I would never say it out loud, I had to admit that Edward was sexy as hell. He had dazzling green eyes that got him both into and out of trouble, bronze hair that just screamed at you to run your hands through it and a body the gods would be jealous of. I hadn't seen the whole thing, but what I _had_ seen… indescribable. I could see why he got so many girls. And I didn't blame the girls for falling for his charm. But it sure didn't make me like him as more than something I'd had a small attraction to last year.

"I think I saw him leaving with Jessica" Jasper, the blonde, said with a smirk as he got up and made his way to the food

I rolled her eyes and followed Jasper to the line

"So Jessica again? I wonder if he's gonna get serious about her" Emmet said with a chuckle when he stopped in the line behind me, trapping me in between the two boys

"HA!" Jasper laughed, "like that's gonna happen anytime soon"

"We can dream. Why can't he just find a nice girl and stick with her. Hey Bella your single aren't you? Do you wanna date my little brother?" Emmet asked, knowing full well that I couldn't stand Edward and his playboy ways

"Ew. Em, don't even joke about that. It's disgusting"

"You know you think he's hot" Jasper laughed, earning a whack from the back of my hand

"Seriously guys. Stop. I'm gonna throw up"

Taking our food back to the table, the three of us sat down with Jasper and Emmet handing Rosalie and Alice a plate full of food as well

"Bella has the hots for Edward"

"I do not asshole. You guys are gonna get the bash in a minute" I warned, narrowing my eyes at Emmet

"Now now Bella. Calm down. We know you don't like him" Rosalie said with a small chuckle along with the two boys

"What're we talkin' bout?"

"Nothing interesting" Alice said as her brother sat down and took a chip off her plate, shoving it in his mouth

Edward had a smirk on his face that told me all I needed to know.

"Where were you?" Rosalie asked with a twinge of annoyance in her voice

"Just… talking with someone"

"Jessica right?" Emmet laughed

"And Lauren" Edward said with a smirk

"Ugh" I mumbled, obviously not quiet enough

"And what're you 'ugh-ing' at?"

"Nothing"

"Well at least I'm getting some action" the disgusting pig said with his most beloved smirk

"You're not as awesome as you think you are"

"Yeah. I am"

"Guys do you have to do this right now?" Alice spoke up, waving her hand in between our death glares, "I mean, it's the first day of school, a fresh start. Can't you be nice to each other?"

"Ha! Like hell" I said as I stood up and walked away, suddenly not hungry anymore

Storming through the school corridors, I soon realised I had no where to go, and no one to see. There was still forty minutes left in the lunch break, and all of my friends were in the cafeteria.

"Bella! Wait up!"

I turned to see Alice running after me

"I know he's an ass, but you don't have to leave because of him" she said with a sigh as she handed me the books I'd left behind

"I know Al, but if I'd stayed longer, I'd probably have jumped across the table and started strangling him"

"Wow. And that wasn't even a fight compared to your usual efforts"

"I know. I guess I've just been kinda stressed lately"

"Why? What's up?" she asked as we made our way to the car park

"Just… Charlies been working late a lot and I guess the whole being alone thing is starting to take its toll on me"

"You know you're always welcome at our house right?" Alice said as we lent against my truck

"I know I am"

"Is there something else wrong?" she asked with a raised eyebrow

"Nah stress and tiredness about cover it" I said with a small chuckle

"So it's not Edward?"

_Not entirely_

"No not at all"

"Good"

As we lent against my red Chevrolet piece of crap (I still love it) I thought over last night's nightmare. It was similar to most of mine. I was usually lost, or trapped, and always had searing pain going right through my heart, I'd start to find my way out what ever predicament I was in, then Edward would pop out of no where. I'd run to him and wrap my arms around him, sobbing into his chest, telling him how afraid I was, then just as I lent up to kiss him, he shoved me away roughly and told me he didn't want me. I wasn't good enough for him. He deserved so much better. It was like reliving the worst day of my life every night.

"Bella? Beeellllllaaaaa?" Alice called, waving her hand in front of my face, "the bell went"

"Oh. Shit. Sorry… was in my own little world"

"I noticed. You sure you don't wanna talk some more? After school or something?"

"Nah I'm cool. Thanks though" I said, giving her a hug before running off to my next class **(A/N: yup, you guessed it. Biology!!)**

I rushed into biology with a few minutes to spare and immediately spotted Angela, a girl I'd become friends with in my first few weeks at Forks High School. Unfortunately, we had grown apart since freshman year, I started hanging out with Alice and that group, and she became friends with Lauren and Jessica, who soon became the biggest sluts of our school. Fortunately though, Angela was still the sweet girl she had always been, she just hung around with the wrong crowd

"Hey Ange, anyone sitting here?"

"Only you" she laughed

"Oh thank god" I said with a sigh and sat down, "it feels so long since I've talked to you"

"It has been a while," she laughed, "kinda my fault though. I've been pretty busy"

"I know that feeling" I giggled just as the teacher walked in

"Alright class, sitting down please" he said as he placed a bucket on his desk and moved to stand in front of it, "don't get comfortable though please. I'll be organising the seating arrangements now"

A groan went up from the class

"Don't worry, I'll make it fair. Names will be drawn from the bucket and that's who will be your lab partner for the rest of the year" he said with fake enthusiasm as he held up the blue bucket

Suddenly, the door swung open and in _sauntered_ a slightly dishevelled looking Edward

"Ah, Mr. Cullen. How nice of you to join us. Take a seat"

Edward _sauntered _to the back of the room and flopped down on a seat next to Jessica, who practically jumped in his lap the moment his ass hit the seat

"Alrighty. Let's get on with it"

He reached in and pulled out the first two pieces of paper, "Mike, Angela. This table" he said as he pointed to an empty desk close to the front of the room

"What are the chances?!" Angela said, peeved. I knew she hated her name being called first because it meant that everyone was watching her. I knew the feeling

I dazed off as more and more names were called from the bucket. Then I heard my name

"Bella. _Bella_. Isabella Swan?"

"Huh?" I said as my head shot up to see who was talking to me

"Welcome back. Your seat" the teacher said as he pointed to the now empty seat next to Edward

"Uh sir?"

"Yes?"

"Can I – "

"No you may not swap partners. Move it" he said with an ever so slightly angry tone. Obviously he'd been asked that question many times already

With a groan, I picked up my books and shuffled over next to Edward. Moving my chair as close to my end of the bench as I could, I sat down with my body turned as far away from him as I could without making it obvious I didn't want to see him. I'm not sure why I bothered. He knew I didn't like him.

"Great. I get stuck with you all year"

"Hey I'm not all too pleased about it either" I said turning to glare at him

"Oh please. I can tell your loving the fact that you get to spend the year looking at me. But I'm not looking forward to dealing with your moodiness and bitchiness for a year"

Every time he said something like this, I felt a knife twist just a little bit more into my heart. I know I've said many times that I can't stand Edward Cullen, but… there's a history between us…

"Just… don't talk to me and neither of us will have a problem" I hissed through my teeth as I flipped open my book to start taking down the notes the teacher was writing on the board.

What a fun year this is turning out to be!

--

"Hey Alice" I said, answering the shrill ringing of the phone. I didn't need caller i.d. to know that it'd be her

"Where'd you go after school?"

"I came straight home. I wasn't feeling too shit hot"

"Oh. Are you alright?"

"Yeah, just a head ache. Nothing a few aspirin won't fix"

"Ok then… so um, Edward told me you guys have biology together"

I inwardly groaned

"Yeah. So?"

"I still don't get it Bella. You guys used to be like best friends. Then one day you just decide that you hate each other?"

"Yeah something like that"

I knew it was killing Alice not knowing what had happened between us, but I figured I'd rather forget about it, than tell her and have her make me relive it everyday. As it turns out, my subconscious was doing that for me

"Are you ever gonna tell me Bella?" she asked, her voice slightly above a whisper

I sighed, "One day… look I've gotta – "

"Alice do you know where my green shirt is?" I was cut off my a guys voice in the background

"Edward, do I look like I know where _your_ stuff is?"

"Geez chill. I was just asking. Can you help me look for it?"

I heard Alice sigh, "I'm on the phone"

"Ugh. _Please_ Alice. I need it"

"Hey Bella, I've gotta go… I'll talk to you later. I'm not done with you yet" Alice said, talking to me this time

"I know your not" I said with a small chuckle as I hung up the phone

--

"Alice, seriously! You must've seen it!"

"No I haven't Edward! Have you looked in your drawers?"

"Of course I have"

"Wardrobe?"

"Yes"

"Clean washing pile?"

"The what?"

"Mom didn't get time to fold the washing so it's all sitting on the spare bed"

"Shit!" I half yelled as I ran up the stairs and into the guest room. Sifting through the pile, I finally found the shirt I was looking for. Ripping off the shirt I already had on, I pulled the green one over my head

"What happened between you and Bella?"

I turned to see Alice leaning against the door frame

"Nothing! I told you I wouldn't do anything to her while we were left along in bio. I'll be a good little boy" I said with sarcasm dripping from my voice

"Not today you dick. Before. When you used to be friends"

"Nothing!" I said again as I pushed through her to get to my room

Every so often, Alice would decide to push the fact that Bella and I used to be really close. And that one day we suddenly 'hated' each other

"You can't keep saying 'nothing' Edward Cullen! I deserve to know what happened! We all do! It's ripping you guys apart, and it's becoming unbearable for us to watch!"

"Nothing happened. We just… grew apart" I said, grabbing my wallet and keys off my dresser

"In a week?!"

"Yes!" I yelled as I pushed past her once again and jogged down the stairs, "I'm going out. I'll be home late"

"I'm not finished with you Edward Cullen!"

"I know your not" I mumbled, jumping in my silver Volvo and tearing down the driveway

**So how'd you like it?**

**I know nothing much has happened, but I think it's still a good start…**

**Let me know. Tell me what you like, don't like… what I can do to make it better, or if you're twisted, what I could do to make it worse…**

**Reviews make my world go round!**

**Xoxo**

**GreaseGurl**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey hey!**

**I decided to update even though I've only got three reviews so far cos I know that people don't really read stories with only one chapter… well I know **_**I**_** don't…**

**I don't own anything : (**

"_Edward? Can I talk to you?"_

"_Sure Bella"_

_Oh god his smile makes me want to melt. I grabbed his hand and led him up the stairs until we were in his room_

"_What's up?"_

"_I just… wanted to talk… is that ok?"_

"_Of course it's ok. You know I love talking with you" he laughed as he wrapped his arms around me_

_I didn't feel so dizzy anymore. Sighing, I clung to him for support he didn't know I was in need of. I lent my head back slightly, to see his sparkling green eyes grinning down at me. I could get lost in those eyes. They were the last thing I saw at night before I fell asleep, the first thing that popped into my head when I woke in the mornings. All in all, Edward was beautiful. Before I realised what I was doing, I stood up on my tip toes and pressed my lips to his. Before I knew it, I was on his bed with him looming above me_

"_Come back" I said quietly as I pulled him closer_

_Edward lent down to kiss along my jaw until he found my ear_

"_Do you really think I'll ever be with someone like you? I don't want you. Ever"_

_Then suddenly I was falling, arms flailing everywhere trying to grab onto something. Onto Edward. But he just stood there laughing and pointing. Then suddenly – _

"AGH!"

I sat bolt upright in my bed in a cold sweat. _That_ dream had been more realistic than most. It seemed like my dreams were getting closer and closer to the truth as each night passed. I made a mental note to stop at the drug store on my way home to get something to make me pass out. These dreams were making me crazy.

I looked at the clock on my bedside table. 3am. Shit. Four hours till I had to be up. And there was _no way_ I was gonna be getting back to sleep now. Damn it.

--

I sighed as I stretched my arms up and tucked my hands under my head. All this exercise was starting to take its toll on me. Sneaking out at night, a couple of rounds of sex, sneaking back in, sleeping for a few hours then school. A typical night for me, but the sleep deprivation was finally starting to take effect.

I looked down at the girl snuggled against the pillows beside me. Snuggled wasn't the right word. More like _pressed_ against. God, even in her sleep she was a porn star waiting to happen. I slowly pulled the blankets from around my waist and began to search for my clothes on the ground. Sure Jessica was good in the sack, but it didn't mean I wanted to wake up beside her. There had only been one girl I'd ever wanted to wake up beside. Turns out she only wanted drunken sex from me.

I sighed again as I pulled the shirt over my head. Checking that I had everything, I quietly snuck over to the window. Thank god she was on the first story to the house. I wasn't sure if the sex with her was good enough to risk breaking my neck getting through the window.

Landing with a small _thump_ on the grass, I began to walk to my car parked around the block.

Like I said. Typical night

--

"Oh Bella you look awful!"

"Thanks Alice. Just what I wanted to hear" I said with a small laugh as the small girl helped me out of my truck

"Oh, sorry! I didn't mean it like that! It's just… did you not sleep last night?"

"nightmare. Then I couldn't get back to sleep"

"Oh you poor thing. Here, hold this" she said shoving my bag back into my hands so she could rummage through her handbag, "where is… I'm sure I put it in… ah! Here it is" she said as she pulled a small compact out of her bag

"Al, you know I don't do makeup"

"Shush. It's just to cover those bags. It looks like you haven't slept for weeks"

"It feels like it" I mumbled as she began to dab makeup under my eyes

"There. All better" she said handing me the mirror so I could take a look

I had to admit, I did look better now

"Thanks Alice. You're a life saver"

"You're very welcome. OI!" she yelled suddenly pointing across the car park, "yeah you Edward Cullen. Don't play stupid. Come here!"

I saw Edward smirk as he made his way over to us. I tried to make an escape, but Alice had linked our arms together and it was proving rather difficult to get free. She was surprisingly strong for her small size

"Where were you last night?"

"In bed"

"No you weren't. I went in to look for you"

"I didn't say _my_ bed" he laughed

"Don't get smart with me. You're lucky I didn't go and tell mom and dad"

"You wouldn't, and you know it. You love me" he smirked as he gently kissed her cheek before jogging off to join Jasper and Emmet

"Only cos someone has to" I heard her mumble under her breath

I couldn't help but laugh

"It's not funny Bella. I'm getting worried about him"

"He's a big boy. He can look after himself"

"I know but… I mean, he never used to even look at girls, and then he went out on a couple of dates and told me they were all stuck up and bitchy then BAM! Suddenly he's sleeping around like nobody's business. At first I thought it was just a retaliation to… well you… but I mean, it's been nearly a year since… _that_… its just gone on for too long" she said as she turned to look at me

"Trust me Alice. It's got absolutely nothing to do with me"

"I just want old Edward back. Our Edward" she said quietly, "we used to have lots of fun. Our whole group. Or even just the three of us. Bella are you ever gonna – "

"Yeah Alice. I will. One day. Just not today alright. Look I've gotta – "

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to bring it up all the time; I just miss the old days. Why don't you come over tonight and we can have an old fashioned movie night? My parents are going away for a 'romantic weekend getaway'. I'll invite Rosalie. Just us girls. It'll be fun"

I glanced over to see the three boys laughing at something and I cringed. A night in the same house with Edward. It seemed more like torture than anything

"Don't worry. Edwards going out tonight"

"I wasn't – "

"Yeah you were. But please?"

"Ok ok, I'll come over"

"Yay!" Alice giggled as we made our way to class

--

Charlie wasn't home by the time I was ready to leave for Alice's. I sighed as I wrote a note for him and stuck it to the fridge.

After spending all day thinking about tonight, I was finally excited. It had been ages since us girls had a night to ourselves.

My truck barely made it up the hill that was the Cullen's driveway. I practically skipped to the door, as a sudden rush of enthusiasm ran through my body. That rush was quickly ripped from me as the door opened

"What do you want?"

"I'm here to see Alice"

"She's not here. She told me to tell you she doesn't want to see you ag – "

"Edward! Don't be such a fuckwit!" Alice said as she pulled him from the doorway, "Come in Bella. Edward was _just leaving_"

"Nah I wasn't. I've got some time before I have to pick Lauren up for our _date_" he emphasised the word date as if to rub it in a little more

"Well then go up to your room or something. It's a girl's night"

Edward poked his tongue at his sister before bounding up the staircase to his room

"Sorry he's meant to be going out with – "

"Lauren. Yeah I got that one. Where's Rose?"

"She and Emmet had already made plans. But I guess that got rid of Emmet so it's not entirely a bad thing" she said with a small laugh as she led me into the living room

We both flopped down on the couches and began to argue over which movie we were going to watch first

"I'm in the mood for something funny" I said as I held up my selections

"But I wanna watch something soppy!" she laughed as she threw her pillow at me

"Fine! You make the snacks and you can choose the first movie"

"Deal!" she cried as she got up and ran into the kitchen

I took this as my opportunity to escape to my guest room to get changed. It was _my_ guest room because I used to stay so often that it was practically my second bedroom. The Cullen's were just lucky they had two spares. I threw my bag onto the bed and began to riffle through it for my pyjamas. Checked pyjama pants and a singlet. I'd given up on the whole 'matching' pyjama set when I turned 7, cos it wasn't 'cool' any more. As I rammed my singlet over my head, my ponytail got caught and was half pulled out

"Crap" I mumbled as I made my way out of the room, trying to tie my hair back. In my own little world, I made my way down the hallway

"Watch it" an angry voice growled at me

I looked up to see I was standing toe to toe with Edward

"Sorry I wasn't paying attention"

"You never are" he grumbled as he side stepped me and stormed up the second staircase to his room

"Bella! Movies ready!" Alice called from downstairs

"Coming!"

--

Three movies later, the two of us were a little munted. After the first movie and Edwards's disappearance, Alice decided it would be a good idea for us to start drinking. Pretty soon we actually stopped watching the movies and were just mucking around, telling each other funny stories, or bits of gossip we'd heard

"Someone asked me the other day if Emmet was actually related to Hulk Hogan!" I giggled as I recalled the encounter

"What did you say?!"

"YES!" I laughed way too hard

"Oh my god that's classic!" Alice laughed along with me

A while after we quietened down, she spoke with a quiet voice, "Bella?"

"Yup?"

"Can you _please_ tell me what happened between you and Edward?"

And BAM. Just like that, I was sober. I had put off telling anyone for so long, for fear of reliving the night. But now was the time. It was nearly a year ago, and I really should have been over it by now, but obviously I wasn't

"Ok. Fine. But this stays between you and me. And you can't say anything to Edward either"

"I swear" she said as she crossed herself

"It was the night of your guys 17th birthday. You know that I used to like him more than a friend right?"

"Of course. It was obvious you were into each other" she said, nodding

"Well I was gonna tell him that night…."

_(Flash Back) _**(A/N: you should know that I usually hate doing flash backs but this is the easiest way to explain what happened and what was going on with Bella)**

_This was it. Tonight was the night. I was finally gonna tell Edward that I liked him as more than a friend. I'd tried many times before, but it just hadn't happened. So tonight was it. No matter what. I was gonna do it tonight._

"_Hey Edward"_

"_Hey Bella" he said as he pulled me in for a hug, and a peck on the cheek_

"_I… uh… happy birthday" I said before I pulled myself away from him and made my way into the kitchen_

_Chicken shit. I should have just done it! I paced the kitchen a couple of times, before I felt the pull towards the alcohol. A drink would loosen me up. A little bit of Dutch courage never hurt anyone._

_Grabbing a bottle of beer, I downed half of it with a few gulps. Then I began my search for Edward. I had finished my first bottle and had a few sips of my second before I found him. Jessica had pressed him up against a wall and was grinding herself into him. With a deep breath, I shoved my way through the crowd until I was standing beside him._

_He turned his head to look at me. He had relief written all over his face, 'save me' he mouthed while he pointed to Jessica who was in her own little world_

"_Edward? Can I talk to you?"_

"_Sure Bella" he said quickly pulling himself away from Jessica with a grin_

_Oh god his smile makes me want to melt. I grabbed his hand and led him up the stairs until we were in his room_

"_What's up?"_

"_I just… wanted to talk… is that ok?"_

"_Of course it's ok. You know I love talking with you" he laughed as he wrapped his arms around me_

_I hadn't realised that I'd felt slightly dizzy until his arms were around he, stilling me. I let out a huge sigh as I snuggled myself into his chest_

"_That was a big sigh for such a little lady" he said with a chuckle_

_I felt the rumble in his chest, and my hands gripped to his shirt front_

"_Is there something wrong?" he asked, leaning back so he could look at me_

_I shook my head, too afraid to speak. My eyes trailed from his, to his mouth and back again. It was now or never. I had to do it_

_I lent up on my tip toes and pressed my lips to his. Edward groaned and pushed back against my mouth, deepening the kiss. My hands trailed down his chest and wrapped themselves around his back, pulling him closer_

_Edward mumbled something I couldn't hear, before he pushed my towards the bed_

_Ah. 'Bed'._

_I landed on the bed, bouncing a few times before Edward was on top of me. I giggled as he stopped my body from bouncing anymore. He leaned down and kissed me again before pressing his body against mine. I gasped when I felt _him_ against me._

_I could feel Edward smirking into my neck as he pressed kisses down my neck and along my collar bone. When he got to the edge of my shirt, he looked up at me as if to ask permission_

"_You don't have to ask. You can do with me what you will. Happy birthday" I said quietly with a grin as I lent down to kiss him. This time, the kiss wasn't returned, but suddenly ended_

"_What?"_

"_Um… happy birthday?"_

_Edward pulled away from me and sat on the edge of the bed, "I don't want this. This isn't happening Bella"_

"_What?" I asked, shocked_

"_You heard me. I. Don't. Want. This" I could tell he was getting annoyed because there was a flash through his eyes_

_I nodded; trying to keep my tears at bay as I practically ran from the room_

_(End Flash Back)_

"I tried to act like it didn't happen, but it just got too hard. He was angry with me, I was angry with him. I didn't see the point in trying to fix it really… he wasn't ever gonna want me the way I wanted him"

"Wow"

"Wow? I tell you my biggest secret and all you can say is 'wow'?"

"Yeah, I mean… I get it now… I've never understood the sudden hate you had for him but… but if Jasper had of done something like that to me, I'm not sure I would have handled it any better…"

"Yeah. Is it wrong that it still hurts?" I said wiping a stray tear from the corner of my eye

Alice was beside me in an instant, wrapping her arms around me

"No way sweetie. Something like that doesn't heal quickly"

"But it's been nearly a year" I said with a small sob

"But it's so much harder 'cos he's rubbing it in your face everyday"

Alice was right. The fact that he ran around doing everything with a pulse hurt. He did everything but _me_. I clearly wasn't good enough for him.

"It's just… it's like he takes every opportunity to point out that I'm not good enough for him"

"Don't. Don't you _ever_say that Bella. You deserve so much better than him"

"You can't say that. He's your brother"

Alice pulled away to look at me, "that's exactly why I'm saying it Bella. You can have any guy you want. You deserve the best. And trust me; Edward won't be annoying you anymore"

"Oh Alice please don't"

"I'm not gonna say anything. I'm just gonna beat him so bad he'll be eating through a straw for the rest of his life"

I let out a small giggle, "please don't Alice. I'd rather just act as though I hadn't told you anything"

"If that's what you want" she said with a small sigh, "I think we should go to bed now. You look knackered"

**How'd you like it??**

**Please say you liked it??**

**At least now you know why Bella hates Edward…**

**Xoxo**

**GreaseGurl**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello to the five of you that have reviewed… I don't think my story is very popular on the internet lol**

**Oh well. I'll keep going till I get told to stop I guess**

I lay in bed listening to the spits of rain tap the window. It was soothing, the almost rhythmic tapping directly above my head. It calmed me. In a way, I was glad I'd told Alice my story. It lessened the stress, sharing it with someone. And hearing someone tell me that I was stupid for feeling like I wasn't good enough for Edward felt good. It made me feel like maybe there _was_ someone out there for me. That I _was_ good enough for someone to love me. That I –

_Thump_

Oh god. What was that?

_Thump. Giggle+_

Oh god. Edwards back. And he brought Lauren with him.

_Thump. Giggle. "Oh babe I love it when you do that"_

Eeeeew! They're outside my room! I can't believe he's being such an ass, and doing this! He does this just to fuck me off! Ugh! That dirty, disgusting _pig_!

"_Oh Edward. Oh yeah… right there!"_

_Stumble stumble SLAM!_

Oh thank god. They've gone into the other guest room. At least I won't have to hear –

"_Ngh! Oh that's it Eddie!"_

You have _got_ to be kidding me?!

That stupid _prick!_

--

"Oh Edward that was so good"

Sure. If you say so.

"Mmm hmm"

"Do you think we could… do it again…?" she whispered in my ear as her fingers walked down my bare chest

"No. you've gotta go home"

The only reason we ended up at my house was because Laurens family had turned up for the weekend. Aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, and I didn't wanna be introduced to them. I wasn't a 'meet the family' kinda guy

"Do I really have to? I mean, I like being in your room… I haven't been in here before"

"It's not my room" I said as I got off the bed to find my clothes.

"What do you mean this isn't your room?" she asked angrily as she too got up

"This _isn't_ my room. How hard is that to understand?"

God she really was thick sometimes

"Well why aren't we in your room?"

_Cos I don't want you in there_

"Cos I didn't wanna walk that far"

"Aw… baby… we coulda just gone back to my house… its closer after all"

_Ha! And meet your family? I doubt it!_

"You ready?" I asked, completely ignoring her

"Yeah" she said as she put her shoes on

I was really gonna have to ditch her soon. Between her and Jessica, I was going crazy. The sex at the beginning was great. But after a few months of it, they got clingy. I'd clearly told them nothing except sex would come of our encounters, but they had the idea in their heads that if they whinged and moaned enough I would eventually give up. _Not_ gonna happen.

"Night" I called out the window as I drove away

Tonight would be the longest sleep I'd had in a while. I usually didn't get home till around 3 but it was only a little after 1 at the moment. All round, tonight was going great.

The red truck in my driveway still gave me chills. I used to love seeing that broken down Chevy. It was a symbol for the greatest thing in my life. Now, it just took a chunk out of my heart.

--

Stop it Bella! Stop letting him get to you! He's not worth it!

_But he's… he's Edward. Perfect Edward. The sweet and caring Edward that still for some reason held your heart_

I sighed as I sat up, now unable to fall back asleep. By now the rain was thumping hard against the window and the calmness had left. There was something about rain storms like this that made me nervous. It wasn't very often that I'd be able to actually sleep through one. So that and the trauma from having to listen to Edward and Lauren going at it in the room across the hall almost had me in tears. At least he was gone now. Although I was sure when I saw him in the morning I probably _would_ break down into tears.

Scratch that. Why wait until the morning? It seemed confiding in Alice had jarred open the flood gates. Edwards little performance opened them completely. I didn't realise I was crying till I felt one of my tears drip down onto my hand. I quickly wiped the remaining tears with the back of my hand. It didn't really matter considering no one would be there to see me break down.

I had only broken down over Edward twice before. The night of his rejection was the worst. I literally spent the weekend in my room bawling my eyes out. A week later Edward and I had fought and he left, in the arms of Lauren. The devil herself.

The next week was unbearable. I wouldn't allow myself to cry over him. But one night after seeing him making out with three different girls in one day, I finally allowed it. After that, I accepted the hate we felt for each other and just left it at that. I avoided talking to him when ever I could. And if I did talk to him, it was usually a snarky comment.

Pretty soon, my reminiscing had me letting sobs escape. My body shook as I thought about all I had thrown away by 'listening to my heart' and making a _stupid_ decision. Why couldn't I have just left things as they were and not worried about telling Edward I wanted him? We would still be friends, and everything would have been great. He would have been here hanging out with us, and not off rooting Lauren.

I heard a slow, steady _thump_ coming from the hallway. I guessed Edward was home again. I quickly wiped my tears and lay down with my back towards the door. I didn't think he would come in; I just wanted to feel more defended against him as he walked past.

Twenty minutes later, I was still wide awake. Sleep was obviously not an option for me tonight. I sighed and pulled the blankets away from my body, shivering as the cold night air touched my skin. I slowly shuffled from the room and made my way downstairs trying to be as quiet as possible. When I made it to the kitchen I saw a dim glow coming from the fridge

"Cant stay out of the fridge for even a few hours huh? You're getting to be as bad as Emmet" I laughed as I sat down at the bench

"What?" a confused and shirtless Edward asked as he stepped out from behind the door

"Oh. Shit. I thought you were Alice, sorry I'll go"

"Don't bother. I was just leaving" he said with his smirk as he left with his bottle of water

I rolled my eyes and grabbed a bottle of water, then made my way back to bed.

When I'd made my way up the stairs I saw Edward leaning against the wall just beyond my doorway. I rolled my eyes once again and went into my room, shutting the door behind me. Just as it shut, it was opened again.

"Piss off Edward" I said as I got into bed, not even turning around

"You hate storms"

"Yeah. So?" I said as I took a swig from my bottle, then snuggled under the blankets with my back facing him

"You used to ask to sleep in my bed if there were ever storms while you were staying here"

"I'm not a little kid now Edward. I can handle myself"

"I never said you couldn't"

I felt the bed dip as he sat down. As far as I could tell, he was almost touching me, he was that close.

"What do you want Edward. Get your tormenting out of the way so I can sleep in peace"

"You can't sleep through storms unless I'm with you"

"Fuck off"

"Look, you may hate me, but deep inside, I'm a nice guy. And I'm trying to do something nice for you"

"Psh. Yeah deep _deep_ down" I mumbled as I pressed my face against the comforter

I heard Edward sigh, then a quiet humming

"Edward what are you doing?"

"I'm humming you your lullaby. You used to fall asleep almost every time I did it"

"I've grown out of stupid shit like that Edward"

"Well then you won't have any objections to me humming it now"

"Stop it! I don't want you to help me!" I half cried as I sat up in bed and looked at him, "I don't _need_ you Edward. I haven't needed you for nearly a year now, so I'm not gonna start needing you now!" I was almost yelling as I lay back down and half covered my face with the comforter

He didn't know how untrue the words were. I did need him. I guess I'd always need him. Something about him made everything better.

"What happened to us Bella?"

I lay in silence, pretending to be asleep

"I know you're not asleep" I could tell he was grinning at my stupidity

But still, I lay there, not saying anything. Hoping he would leave before I burst into tears. Again.

He sighed, and then carried on with the song from where he left off. For some reason, even when I was angry with him, it always soothed me. Made me… tired… I thought as I let a small yawn escape. And before I knew it, I'd crashed.

--

Don't ask me why I went into Bellas room. Cos I have no idea. But I'd been thinking about her all night. So much, in fact, that I'd nearly called Lauren Bella a couple of times. I wished it was me and Bella going out for dinner, and I wished it was Bella I was brining home. I could picture Bella in the room across from us when Lauren and I were goin at it.

I know it was kinda cruel to have Lauren in the room opposite, but I didn't want her in my room. I'd only had one non-family girl sleep in my bed, and I wanted to keep it that way. The right of sleeping in my bed was reserved for Bella and only Bella. Whether or not she was talking to me. And being with her, in her room was the closest I would get to that at the moment. I had been swearing to myself for a while now, that I'd make it better. It wasn't exactly my fault that our friendship was ruined, but I knew I had to step up. Then every time I tried, I saw the pain expression she got from talking to me, and something bad came out of my mouth. Something that made that pain worse. It was killing me, and it was killing her.

I sighed and looked down at Bella sleeping. She looked relaxed. I hadn't seen her relaxed for a long time. Mostly because whenever I was around she was all tensed up. I wished I could stay with her all night. But I knew when she woke up in the morning she would be angry enough as it is. I carefully, so as not to move her too much, got out of the bed and took one last look at her.

I'll make this better Bella. I promise.

--

"Morning lil sis" I said with a grin as I lent down and kissed her cheek, "what's for breakfast"

"Whatever you're cooking" she mumbled as she bit into her toast

Ok, so she was pissed.

"Look, I'm sorry about Lauren, but – "

"Don't start Edward. I'm really not in the mood" she said before she walked out of the kitchen

Whoa. What'd I do?

"Alice! Wait!" I called as I caught up to her, walking up the stair case, "what's up? What'd I do?"

"You… you are a stupid selfish jerk! How could you – "

"Hey Alice? Where've the towels gone?" I heard Bella calling from down the hall way

"One second" she called back up the hall, "just… don't talk to me at the moment Edward" she said as she glared at me

--

"Yo little brother! It's an awesome day outside! Why are you in here?"

I opened my eyes an sat up slightly to see Emmet bounding through my doorway

"Don't care"

"Man get your arse outta bed!" he half yelled as he jumped on the bed

"Dude I'm not going anywhere"

"Fuck. What's up your ass?"

I groaned and sat up properly, propping myself up against the headboard

"Alice is shitty at me"

"And? How is that new? It's probably just that time of month"

"Nah man. It's not shitty like that… she just… I don't know…"

"Just come outside man. Were goin for a swim. Don't let her get to you"

"Fine" I grumbled

--

"Edward! Get your ass in the pool"

I looked up from my sulking and saw everyone laughing and mucking around in the pool. Everyone except…

"Where's Bella?"

"Why do you care?" Alice asked with a glare at me

"Didn't she stay here last night? I figured she would still be here" I said as though I didn't really care

"She left. She hasn't been sleeping very well recently, and apparently _you_ didn't make it any better last night"

What? She told Alice that I went into her room and –

"Might I suggest you use your own room next time you bring someone home with you?"

Oh. _That_.

"Yeah whatever" I mumbled before I dove into the pool

--

Edward lullaby-d me to sleep. He sat, and waited until I fell asleep. Just like he used to. And I loved every second of it… it was this fact that had sent me home almost as soon as the sun came up. I couldn't be around him. I couldn't even sit and pretend I hated him, because after last night, it was getting harder and harder to do.

4 months. 4 months until I go to college and I'm outta here. I'll never have to see him again.

4 months.

--

"Alice? Can I talk to you for a minute?" I asked as I knocked lightly on Alice's open door

"What?" she said sharply

I slowly walked into the room, afraid that she might throw something at me

"What'd I do Alice? I can't handle you not talking to me"

"But you can handle Bella not talking to you?"

"No – I… what?"

"What the hell happened between you two?! You were _best friends_! You were in love with each other! And then you just rejected her like you did for a life of 'bachelorhood'!"

"Whoa! Hold up! Is that what _she_ told you? Cos she's turned the whole story to make _me_ the bad guy!"

"Well then what do _you_ think happened Edward?"

I sighed and sat on Alice's bed. It looks like today's the day I finally tell her what happened

"What's she told you so far?"

"She was gonna tell you she liked you, she put herself out there and you rejected her. You told her you didn't want her"

"Ok, well firstly, she didn't like me. And I didn't tell her I didn't want her, I told her I didn't want what was happening"

Alice looked at me confused

I sighed again and ran my hands over my face, "she wanted to have sex with me, yeah. But she was drunk. And she told me it was my birthday present. I wanted her for her, but she was only gonna give herself to me as a _birthday present_"

"No she wasn't you douche! She was in love with you!"

"No she wasn't. I could see it in her eyes. She was horny and drunk. I didn't want her on that condition. I wanted her to be mine, not just a one night stand 'oh I owe myself to you so happy birthday!' thing"

"Wake up you idiot! Do you know what she said to me last night? She told me she wasn't good enough for you"

"What? Is she crazy?"

"Exactly! I had her convinced she would find the right person, and that he would be 100 times better than you are – "

"Hey!"

"– but your little performance with Lauren just rubbed it in that you would do everyone else _except_ Bella. Do you know how upset she was?"

I hung my head in shame. Bella truly believed that she wasn't good enough for me. And it was my fault she thought that

"Can you just… do something?"

"Like what?" I asked the bedspread

"Like apologise?"

"I've tried. Trust me. For the next week after the party I practically followed her everywhere telling her how sorry I was and that I wanted to put it behind us, but she wouldn't listen"

"Well try again. Explain what happened"

"Alice it's been almost a year. I doubt if she will really care if I apologize or not"

"Edward, she still loves you. Even after all the shit you've done to her, she still loves you"

I snapped my head back up and looked Alice in the eye

"No she doesn't"

"Yes. She does. This whole thing wouldn't affect her like it does if she didn't still love you"

"Wow"

"Yeah wow. Now get outta my room and do something to fix all this shit"

**There you go. Chapter three.**

**Read, review, comment, harass me if you really want**

**Laters,**

**GreaseGurl**


End file.
